Seriously funny one liners.

SERIOUSLY FUNNY ONE LINERS!  

 
[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
 
[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
   
[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
 
[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.
 
[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.
 
[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
   
[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
   
[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
 
[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
 
[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired..

[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
 
[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
 
[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
 
[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
 
[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
 
[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
 
[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
 
[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
 
[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
 
[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something
   
[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!
 
[22] Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.
 
[23]Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
       
[24]Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
      Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
 
[25]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better  or being murdered.
 
[26]There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
   
[27]There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it!

---
'There are many languages on earth, Smile speaks them all.' Keep Smiling :-) Someone who Cares you to Smile.- Sheikh Shariq .